Am I emotionally unavailable?
Ten questions about the two seconds before you go quiet. That moment is short, specific, and worth finding.
A mirror, not a measurement. Ten honest questions, no account, nothing saved.
WHAT YOU LEAN TOWARD
You stay useful instead of getting close
You do not disappear. You do something more socially rewarded, which is become indispensable: the calm one, the one who handles it, the one everybody leans on and nobody asks about.
Usefulness is a very good hiding place because everyone approves of it. The cost is that being needed and being known are not the same thing, and a life built on the first one gets lonely in a way that is hard to complain about.
The question underneath is usually what you think would happen if you stopped being useful for a week.